Little Miss Little Compton by Arden Myrin

Author:Arden Myrin [MYRIN, ARDEN]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Running Press
Published: 2020-09-29T00:00:00+00:00

And that wasn’t all of it—there were drawings of his penis, and each ass cheek had a drawing of a mustachioed villain on it.

This fine man, this hot stranger, had the possibility of removing the pants of a girl he had just met and finding on her thigh his name written in Sharpie on a drawing of a flaccid spaceship penis. Holy shit! And it was in Sharpie—I couldn’t just wash it off. Those suckers were on my body for the long haul.

As Teddy’s hand crept toward my blouse, I couldn’t decide. What was worse? The possibility of being the only person in America to not have sex in college? Or him discovering that I had “Do Me Yonks” written above my crotch? Would I look like a creepy stalker who would keep someone under her floorboards? Even if I suggested that we turn out the lights, there was a possibility that our sweaty bodies would imprint—in mirror image—his name and penis cartoon all over his sheets.

I was really torn. Part of me was like “fuck it, let’s do this!” I thought about playing it off like, “How did that happen?” Like it was a Criss Angel trick. “Oh, your name just appeared. How odd!”

I wanted it so bad! I wanted to scream, “Yonks, Yonks, do me, Yonks!” Instead, what popped out was, “I’m so sorry. I am really shy. Can we just spoon?”

Spoon?!! Are you fucking kidding me???!!!

If I had wanted to spoon, I could have gotten the Rabbi to hold me clothed and watch me sleep. Had I known I wasn’t going to get laid junior or senior year either, I would have cut a hole in a sheet and told him I had a fetish for doing it dressed like a ghost.

Little did I know: my body is a vision board and it makes my dreams come true. Which is why I now always have Do Me Idris Elba written on my belly.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.